Download Some Secrets Should Never Be Kept, by Jayneen Sanders
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Some Secrets Should Never Be Kept, by Jayneen Sanders
Download Some Secrets Should Never Be Kept, by Jayneen Sanders
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'Some Secrets Should Never Be Kept' is a beautifully illustrated children's picture book that sensitively broaches the subject of keeping children safe from inappropriate touch. We teach water and road safety, but how do we teach Body Safety to young children in a way that is neither frightening nor confronting? This book is an invaluable tool for parents, caregivers, teachers and healthcare professionals to broach the subject of safe and unsafe touch in a non-threatening and age-appropriate way. The comprehensive notes to the reader and discussion questions at the back of the book support both the reader and the child when discussing the story. Suitable for children aged 3 to 12 years.
Story is a great medium to discuss difficult topics. 'Some Secrets Should Never Be Kept' was written to ensure children are armed with knowledge if they are ever touched inappropriately; and from the first unsafe touch, a child will understand to tell a trusted adult and keep on telling until they are believed. It is an important book and one that all children need to hear. Forewarned is forearmed! This book is supported by free activities and child protection resources on our website. 'Some Secrets Should Never Be Kept' is available in 7 languages including English, Spanish, German, Chinese, Japanese, Italian and French.
Body Safety Education (also known as protective behaviours or child sexual abuse prevention education) involves so much more than focusing on stranger danger. In fact, 95% of sexually abused children will know their abuser and only 5% will be strangers. It is also crucial for children to learn that they must never keep secrets that make them feel bad or uncomfortable (in fact, we teach it's best not to have secrets in families, only happy surprises). The trouble with secrets is that they are the main tool used by child molesters to ensure children remain silent about the abuse. Ensuring the secret is kept is of utmost importance to the perpetrator. Therefore, threats and insisting no-one will believe the child is used as a way of controlling the child to be silent. Through Body Safety Education parents and children will learn the importance of there being no secrets between us.
Parents and carers need to be on the lookout for signs of sexual abuse in children and grooming behaviour which is often focused on themselves as well as their children. The answer to the question, 'How do I keep kids safe from sexual abuse?' is simple; teach them Body Safety Education from a very young age. Always use the correct names for their genitals, ensure they know that the parts covered by their swimsuit are known as their private parts, and that private means 'just for you', and consequently not for sharing. This is known as the swimsuit lesson. When you teach your child that 'your body belongs to you' you are empowering them with confidence through knowledge.
Body Safety Education also involves teaching your child that no-one can touch their private parts, and if they do, they must tell a trusted adult until believed.
Kids need to be safe as well as feel safe. Teaching a child that private means 'just for you' and that their private parts are found under their swimsuit is a valuable lesson that can prevent child molestation.
The sexual abuse of children is regrettably very common. Approximately 1 in 3 girls and 1 in 6 boys will be sexually abused before their 18th birthday.
You can help stop child abuse by teaching social and physical boundaries to kids and that some parts are not for sharing. A child needs be able to proclaim loudly and with conviction that, 'My body belongs to me', 'I am the boss of my body' and that 'From my head to my toes, I say what goes'.
Please note: the author uses 'safe and unsafe touch' or 'inappropriate touch' as preferred terms for good and bad touch which may be confusing for a child as bad touch (inappropriate touch) can often feel good, i.e. be pleasurable and this can cause confusion for a child.
- Sales Rank: #41578 in Books
- Published on: 2015-01-01
- Original language: English
- Number of items: 1
- Dimensions: 11.00" h x .8" w x 8.50" l, .22 pounds
- Binding: Paperback
- 32 pages
Review
"There are books that come along that are a 'must read' for your kids, and this is one of them."
... "it's really important to own this book for you and your family. It handles a very difficult (and uncomfortable) subject in a sensitive and age appropriate way and provides a chance to discuss it with your children." --tacklenappy.com/features/reviews/item/327-tacklenappy-book-review
... "there is a children's book that you MUST get if you have any children in your life. Whether they are your children or someone else's, please help make the topic of childhood sexual abuse just ever so slightly easier to broach with them by using this remarkable tool."
"GET the book, READ the book and most importantly, TALK about the book WITH your children."
"Anything that might help protect your children from the hands of a sexual predator is a priceless investment." --togetherweheal.wordpress.com/2012/11/24/some-secrets-should-never-be-kept/
"This is a skilfully written and beautifully illustrated book which covers the subject of keeping young children safe from sexual abuse. Written as a tool to help parents, caregivers and teachers broach the subject in a non-threatening way, it sensitively weaves the important facts into a story that young children will find accessible." --littleparachutes.com/book.php?id=571
"Our family has felt more empowered to address the issue of sexual abuse through having this resource, "... --momentsaday.com/protecting-children-against-sexual-abuse/
"I'm often asked for resources for children to help them protect them from possible sexual abuse. There has been nothing I could recommend. Until now."
"Melbourne author, primary school teacher and mother, Jayneen Sanders, has filled the gap by publishing a picture book for children titled 'Some Secrets Should Never Be Kept'." --melindatankardreist.com/2012/04/some-secrets-should-never-be-kept-new-book-to-help-parents-and-kids-discuss-inappropriate-touch/
From the Author
As the mother of three young children, I knew at some stage in their young lives I would not be there to protect them. With the talk of the 'first sleep-over', I realized I needed to broach the delicate subject of how they could protect themselves from unwanted interference. I challenged myself to write this book so parents, carers and educators had a tool (one I did not have) to open up the discussion on self-protection.
Forewarned is forearmed. If a situation like the one Sir Alfred encountered were to happen to a child, it is my sincere hope that they could draw on what they have learned from the story and the subsequent, essential discussion -- and speak up.
From the Inside Flap
Note to the reader
It is important that young children are educated in personal safety and to speak up if they are inappropriately touched. Here are some general 'body safety' tips, followed by more specific guidelines on reading Some Secrets Should Never Be Kept to your child.
General Body Safety Tips
- Young children often find it hard to articulate how they are feeling. Therefore, provide daily opportunities to talk about feelings. Ask questions such as, How do you feel when it's your birthday? When you pat a puppy? When you go down a big slide for the first time?
- Discuss 'safe' and 'unsafe' feelings and brainstorm scenarios. Discuss how your child feels when they are worried or unsafe. Talk about what happens to their body: sweaty hands, racing heart, start to cry, sick feeling in their tummy, wobbly knees, etc. Say, These are your Early Warning Signs and they tell you when something is not right. Encourage your child to trust their feelings.
- Introduce the term 'private body parts'. Tell your child that their private parts are the areas under their bathing suit. Use the correct terminology for body parts from a young age. Tell your child that no-one can touch their private body parts (which also includes their mouth) and they can say 'Stop!' or 'No!' if someone does. Reinforce that they should tell someone they trust about the inappropriate touch. Have your child practise putting out their hand and saying 'Stop!' or 'No!' Tell your child that it is also wrong for them to touch somebody else's private body parts, even if they are asked to. Discuss briefly when it is appropriate for someone to touch their body, e.g. a doctor, but only if you or a trusted adult is in the room.
Reading 'Some Secrets Should Never Be Kept'
Most helpful customer reviews
32 of 32 people found the following review helpful.
A Great Lesson For Children & Parents
By A. Simeone
I first saw this book read online through a YouTube video and found it to be excellent. I would recommend that you watch the video as well. It covers the subject matter of child sexual abuse very delicately and, in some ways, is a good way to show parents how a child may feel when they are going through a situation like this. With 1 in 4 girls and 1 in 6 boys being victimized by sexual abuse before their 18th birthdays, it's a serious subject that is simply being neglected. Parents that don't educate their children on their bodies, the need for respect and responsibility are more at risk. Parents that don't know the signs of a possible abuser, how an abused child may act (since they more often than not keep it a secret) are less likely to understand the risks and identify a situation that may be harmful for their child.
29 of 30 people found the following review helpful.
Beautifully Written and Illustrated Book!
By MOMMBY Mom
[[VIDEOID:mo25VH937JPFZYA]]I was honored to do a book review of Some Secrets Should Never Be Kept. It is a great book to help you discuss child sexual abuse with your little one. Some Secrets, a beautifully illustrated and written book, allowed even my three year old to understand the message "forewarned is forearmed" as depicted in my video review.
17 of 17 people found the following review helpful.
gave some brilliant notes for the reader
By Faith Gray
This gorgeous book arrived in our mailbox on a Friday afternoon and was promptly read to my 4yo son. I had planned to write a review, but I didn't anticipate the response my son would have to the story, which made me even more determined to share my thoughts.
The author, Jayneen Sanders from Some Secrets Should Never Be Kept, gave some brilliant notes for the reader, in the first few pages. I gave it a quick scan and followed the first piece of advice, which was to talk about the cover. A little boy wearing a knight's helmet was a winner from the start with my little man, but he was quick to suggest that the little boy on the cover looked sad. Good, I thought, we're off to a good start.
Now both of my children have been raised with a variety of protective behaviours resources, and get quite excited when new resources arrive in the mail. Because of this I was a little vague with my intro about this book, not wanting my son to give me the pre-programmed responses, so I was very much taken aback as we read.
Before sharing his heart wrenching observation, allow me to share my thoughts. This book has such a beautiful, rich feel about it. Aesthetically, it is well bound, rich in colour with easy-read font. The illustrations are fabulous, setting both the scene and the mood as the story progressed on each page. The words, the flow of the story are easy to read, yet not so simplistic that it would be disregarded by an older, independent reader; there is a terrific balance.
The story captures the new reality for a little boy and his mother, whose situation in life has changed rather dramatically post-divorce. Lady Susan is now working in a grand house as a cleaner, and she is grateful for the flexibility and generosity of her employer, Lord Henry. Little Sir Alfred, our little hero of the moment, soon realises that Lord Henry isn't as safe and kind as people think, and he becomes physically ill with the weight of carrying the secret of being abused, and worry of what would happen to him and his mum, Lady Susan if he told his secret.
As I read this part to my son, he was adamant that little Sir Alfred needed to tell his secret, no matter what. Then we turned the page to where Sir Alfred tells his mummy his terrible secret, and my little man suddenly changed his tune and determinedly so. I was taken aback and asked him why he'd changed his position; we've always been really clear about secrets in our family, and this was not what I expected from him.
"Lady Susan has a tear, she's sad. Sir Alfred shouldn't tell her because she's sad and she'll lose her job and everything!"
So we talked about how that was never the responsibility of the child to worry about that stuff, and that it was okay for Lady Susan to cry, because it was a sad thing that happened to her little boy. It took a few moments, but he finally accepted it.
The illustrations in this book are brilliant, and opened up a conversation that I hadn't realised that I needed to have with my son. I should've, because that was me as a child, but I had thought that I'd covered that base sufficiently with my kids. It was a teachable moment, for both of us! I am immensely thankful for that moment, and for Jayneen Sanders and Craig Smith for giving it to us.
I think the best part of the story was that it showed that life did change for Sir Alfred and Lady Susan, as she had to change her career. In an ideal world, all child abusers would be banished and forfeit their assets, but the ultimate outcome was that a little boy was believed and felt safe when he spoke up and told his mum the truth. That is what we want, for our children to be safe, and to know that, should the worst happen, that they can come without hesitation and tell us.
I highly recommend this book, for every parent and for anyone working with children. I'll be ordering a few more copies to give to my son's daycare teachers as well.
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